The GirlyLove Fic
by LinneArthur
Summary: Harmony & Eve do a mild girls gone wild, a shark interupts, Spike is heroic. Written to satisfy the male members of the AASC, who complained about the ending of The Hot, Oil Story.
1. GirlyLove

**The Girly-Love Fic  
**  
_Disclaimer: all characters belong to ME, I own nothing and only play.  
  
Notice: This takes place just before the episode of AtS where Spike asks for new car to replace the one he ruined by driving on the beach. It was written not to explain that, but to shut the pie-holes of the guys who complained about the mild (excessively mild) suggestion of stud-love in The Hot, Oil Story. Explaining the beach driving incident was just gravy.  
_  
Harmony and Eve walked across the still warm sand, profoundly drunk. Of course, neither one considered herself drunk, and Harmony actually had a reason for her delusion. She'd been told once that you couldn't get drunk if you stuck to the same drink all night. Since she and Eve had started the night drinking champagne, gin fizzes, wine spritzers, Pink Ladies and tequila shooters, and had ended the night drinking champagne, gin fizzes, wine spritzers, Pink Ladies and tequila shooters, she couldn't possibly be drunk.  
  
Their night out together started as an attempt of Eve's to pump Harmony for information about Angel, but had turned into a long, boozy complaint-fest about men. Harmony had plenty to say on the subject, and Eve's natural competitiveness made her eager to keep up with the vampire. By closing, they were plastered and looking for a place to cool off. That was how they found themselves stumbling and giggling across the beach towards the ocean.  
  
"I _so_ need a swim," Harmony said, stripping off her dress and dropping it. Her shoes followed before she realized something important. "I didn't bring my bathing suit with me tonight!" she wailed.  
  
"So what?" Eve asked in a challenging slur, "There's no one else here, we don't even need to wear our undies. We can swim nude, like fish or mermaids or . . ." Eve lost her train of thought but remembered about the skinny-dipping and shimmied out of all her clothes.  
  
The mermaid thing sounded good to Harmony, who'd always wanted to be one, and her bra and panties followed Eve's to the sand.  
  
"_You_ have pretty boobies," Eve remarked, trying to focus on them.  
  
"They're big, pretty boys, yes, yes they are." she crooned, patting Harmony's breasts like a pair of puppies. Eve preened at her prescience when Harm's breasts bounced as if they were indeed frolicking puppies.  
  
"Are you going to name them?" Eve continued, delighted with her private joke.  
  
Name what? Harmony wondered, looking around in confusion for something nameable.  
  
"I think Rex is a good name," Eve said, "Rex and . . . Carlos! Good boy, Rex! Good boy, Carlos! Look, they're playing together."  
  
Oh, the _girls_, Harmony thought as Eve entertained herself by bouncing the mock puppies into each other. You couldn't give a girl a boy's name! Unless it was the kind of boy's name that you gave to a girl, like Sydney or Alex. She was about to point this out to the liaison when Eve got a slightly cross-eyed look on her face.  
  
Amusing as her puppy joke was, Eve was starting to feel a little sick watching Harmony's nipples go around and around. She flattened her hands against the vampire's ample breasts to make them stop. When she was sure nothing was going to come up she slung an arm around Harmony's waist and walked into the surf with her.  
  
Eve floated on the waves, feeling cool and relaxed. Somewhere around or beneath her Harmony was fulfilling her mermaid fantasy, which Eve had heard about in great detail on their way into the sea.  
  
Harmony's wet head surfaced a few inches from Eve's. "I'm still thirsty," she whined, "and I can't drink any of _this_ water!" Harm eyed Eve with drunken cunning. "I'm hungry too, and there was nothing to eat at that stupid human bar. Do you have anything, you know, on you . . . or in you . . . I could have?"  
  
Eve knew there was a possibility for blackmail, or manipulation, or something, in this situation that she could exploit to within an inch of it's life but she was too drunk to figure out what it was, or to care very much. Besides, Harm had drifted even closer and Rex and Carlos were nuzzling Eve's shoulder. So adorable, she thought dreamily.  
  
Eve realized that she was being pulled into an upright position, and Harmony's puppies were snuggling with her puppies while Harm nuzzled her throat. Eve used the flat of her hand against Harm's now bumpy forehead to push the vampire away.  
  
"Not there," she told the other blonde crossly. "Not where everybody could see it, that is just so tacky."  
  
Eve wiggled out of Harm's embrace to float on her back again. "Just make sure it won't show," she murmured as Harmony's thirsty attention shifted to her right breast, followed immediately by her needle sharp fangs. Eve was faintly surprised at how little it hurt as she drifted off to sleep.  
  
Spike was standing by the sea wall, looking out over the calm beach and slowly finishing his cigarette. He'd always loved the sea, a holdover from his days as a soft poet. He could see 2 figures out in the waves; no doubt young lovers having a moonlight swim. Spike inhaled the sea air, enjoying the scent . . . of blood? And something else, very familiar.  
  
He inhaled again. Harmony, and the stupid bint was back on the good stuff. He was certain he knew her victim as well; unfortunately massive amounts of alcohol in the scent were interfering with identification. Suddenly, the hair on the back of Spike's neck stood up with the preternatural awareness a predator has for the approach of another, fiercer predator. There were only a few creatures in the sea that could raise a vampire's hair, and only one that would come in so close to shore to hunt. Bollocks.  
  
Spike jumped into the company car he'd chosen for this evening's joy ride and sped out onto the beach. The sand and seawater would ruin the car but what the hell? It was Wolfram and Hart, and it was the wanker, they could both afford to lose a car in a good cause and he needed to get as close as possible to the swimmers as quickly as possible.  
  
He stripped off his duster, shirt and shoes, and ran into the water, reaching Harmony and Eve shortly before the shark did. He didn't bother to wonder why Eve was with Harmony, especially in such a compromising position, since he was sure it would be something generically nefarious. Spike was just glad the shark that had begun circling them was a youngster, barely 5' long.  
  
He shook Harmony loose of Eve's breast and managed to get it through her booze and blood addled brain that she was in serious trouble, news that served to make Harmony unhelpfully hysterical.  
  
With a disgusted snort, he pushed the sleeping Eve into Harm's arms and told her to keep her dinner's head above water while he dealt with the shark. Years ago a South American fisherman had told him that sharks had sensitive noses, and you could escape one if you could get a good punch in. If the shark gave you the opportunity.  
  
Moments later, stunned that it had actually worked, Spike was swimming back to land with both women in tow. Under almost any other circumstances he'd be enjoying this but as it was he was irritated and hoping the shark didn't recover from its' sore snoot before they reached the beach. Or after – the finned bastard would probably be pissed off enough to follow them onto the sand.  
  
Guess not, Spike thought thankfully, as Harmony collected her and Eve's clothes from the beach and he got the snoring liaison stuffed into the back seat of the ruined car. Harmony got into the passenger seat, after draping Eve's dress modestly over her sleeping form, and meekly endured a lecture from Spike about not behaving like an idiot during the drive to her apartment. As usual, she wasn't listening anyway.  
  
Spike dumped Eve onto Harmony's bed, marveling at how loudly the dainty liaison snored. Well, it was Harmony's problem now since neither Spike nor anyone else knew where Eve lived.  
  
"Have fun," Spike told Harmony as he left, "but not too much fun. I wouldn't want to have to point in your direction if the Senior Partners came around asking where their little pet went."  
  
Harmony sat down disconsolately on the bed beside the sleeping Eve, the details of the evening scattered hazily across her hangover bound brain. Why had she been feeding on Eve, in the ocean? And who were Rex and Carlos?  
  
The End


	2. Between Girls

**Between Girls**  
  
_Disclaimer: all characters belong to ME, I own nothing and only play.  
  
Notice: I did this one because it was suggested to me that Girly-Love Fic needed a 2nd chapter to close up the story, and I agreed. Besides, I wanted to see Harmony get the upper hand for once.  
_  
Eve work up slowly, painfully, and tried to sit up then decided not to try it again for a long time. She felt horrible. Her head was pounding, her mouth was dry and coated with fuzz and if she even saw a picture of light, she was certain her eyes would explode.  
  
What in the name of all things malignant had she been doing last night? She threw her arm casually over Lindsey sleeping next to her, enjoying the comfort of his solid presence. Of course, his presence would have been more comforting if he hadn't developed such an impressive pair of boobs overnight.  
  
Eve shrieked a little and shot out of the bed, then collapsed to the floor, mewling piteously and trying to remain conscious.  
  
"God!," Harmony complained, clutching her head, "Don't do that!" Harm got out of bed and staggered into the shower, turned on the water and stood under it with her mouth open.  
  
What was going on? Eve wondered, baffled. She was in a blessedly dark apartment, surrounded by unicorn figurines, and naked . . . with a fresh bite mark on one of her breasts. She scrambled around and found her dress but couldn't figure out where the armholes were, so she held it in front of her and stormed into the bathroom, ignoring her pounding head.  
  
Harmony was still standing under the water, half bent over now with her hands pressed against the wall, her flimsy pink baby doll nightie clinging to her skin. Eve couldn't tell whether Harmony's pallor was due to being dead or hung-over, and didn't care. She glared furiously at the vampire.  
  
"You stole my blood, you moronic leech, and I want it back!"  
  
"Give me a minute," Harmony answered hollowly, "I may be able to do that."  
  
Disgusted, Eve went back into the bedroom to figure out which end of her dress was up, and sort out the night before. Her memories were spotty at best. She remembered taking Harmony out drinking, hoping to loosen her tongue, which had succeeded but might as well not have. Harmony couldn't be kept on any subject but the ones she chose and eventually Eve had given up and gone with the flow.  
  
She seemed to remember getting way too friendly with Harmony, but that didn't necessarily mean anything. It wasn't as if she had inclinations, well, not strong ones anyway. It was almost a shame really, considering how good Harmony looked with that nightie plastered to her. With that, several very specific memories came flooding back into Eve's conscious in an unordered jumble: being in Harmony's embrace, offering herself to the vampire, caressing Harmony's breasts, _singing_ to them.  
  
Oh, God. She'd done Harmony Kendall. _Harmony!_ The ditziest, most lunkheaded, indiscrete vampire ever to Stooge her way across the Earth plane. Eve couldn't believe she was capable of making such a horrifically bad choice even while drunk off her ass. Her life would be ruined if anyone else found out how unreliable her cunning and good sense were! The Senior Partners would strip her of her position as liaison, and then Lindsey would find out.  
  
Eve went completely cold at the thought of Lindsey's reaction. Even if falling into bed with the likes of Harmony, under any circumstances, didn't prove her unreliable as an ally, the fact that she'd spazzed out in song while messing around with the idiotic bloodsucker would be the death of her affair with the ex-lawyer. Music was very important to Lindsey.  
  
No one must ever know – but how could she guarantee that when her, ugh, partner, was Harmony? Could she have Harmony killed? Appealing as this thought was, it just wouldn't work. Angel might be secretly grateful for Harmony's non-existence, even want to thank the instrument of it, but Harmony was part of Team Angel now and he'd still avenge her death. That's just the kind of guy he was.  
  
Could it be explained believably if Harmony just disappeared? Eve knew that most of the others would be tempted to accept the nitwit vampire's moving on for a better offer without too much inquiry, but there was no place better for Harmony than the one she had now. Surrounded by people at least willing to endure her and grumpily prepared to protect her, her life secure and stable, Harmony was in the catbird seat as Angel's secretary. Even if no one else thought of it, Spike, who knew Harmony so well, would undoubtedly bring it up.  
  
Eve was stuck with Harmony; the only thing to do now was convince the vampire to keep this a secret for her own sake. Harmony was hardly different now from the human she had been, and that likely included all the usual hang-ups and neurosis about sexuality. It should be no problem to appeal to those.  
  
As Harmony walked back into her bedroom, dressed in a fluffy pink robe and with a cold, wet wash cloth held to her forehead, Eve began babbling something about terrible mistakes and not letting them destroy her, Harmony's, life, about moving on and putting it all behind her. If Harmony's head hadn't been aching so, she would have interrupted to ask what on Earth Eve was talking about, but she just hunted in her nightstand for aspirin and let the words wash over her. Gradually, the import of the liaison's droning sank in, to Harmony's disbelief.  
  
The vampire stared at Eve. Did she really believe the two of them had done It? _Together?_ Eve was so not Harmony's type, because first of all – girl. Second, Harmony liked to have fun with people who were actually fun, and not just lying around unconscious. She might not remember everything, but she was sure she remembered more than Eve, who'd been passed out most of the night.  
  
She remembered going drinking with Eve, then to the beach and getting silly with each other in a vampiric girls-gone-wild way. After awhile Spike had turned up and scared her, yelled at her and generally been mean to her, as usual. The butthead. After that they were at her home and Harmony had finally gotten to sleep despite Eve's howitzer snoring, until the liaison woke her up a few hours later by shrieking.  
  
Harmony was preparing to correct Eve's mistaken take on last night when she caught the scent of fear. Becoming a vampire hadn't made Harmony that much different from her human self, but it did provide a variety of physical perks, among them a heightened sense of smell, and awareness of meaning of subtle differences in scent. Eve was genuinely fearful for her own sake of anyone finding out about "It", and Harmony realized she actually had a chip to play in this game. And play it I will, Harmony thought with satisfaction. She was still smarting over that "moronic leech" remark.  
  
"Oh, Eve," she sparkled at the liaison, "you're taking entirely the wrong attitude about this! We need to honor our authentic selves and celebrate the gorgeous mosaic that is our life script experience! So we got a little wasted and had a night of girlish passion together, we should rejoice in the infinite variety of human experience! Well, human and vampire experience. Whether we never do it again or become an item for all eternity, we mustn't let toxic expectations rob the bliss from our actualizing journey!"  
  
Harmony embraced the stunned and horrified Eve. "This is the first day of the rest of our lives!" she chirped. And not a moment too soon, she was nearly out of self-help references.  
  
Hours later, Harmony was eavesdropping on a badgering confab Eve was having with Angel. Time to run this up the flagpole and see if it turned into muffins, she thought gleefully. Within moments she was barging innocently into Angel's office with a freshly warmed mug of otter's blood in hand.  
  
"Here you go!" she told Angel cheerfully, "I'm sorry it took so long, boss, but we had to get fresh squeezed." Before Angel could say "what?" Harmony turned to Eve.  
  
"There you are, Evie! I was so hoping to run into you today but you just seemed to be hiding yourself, buried in work. Angel can be such a slave driver. You should really let her off the leash more, Eve is so much fun when she kicks back and let's herself go. Why, just the other night . . ."  
  
"Harmony," Eve bleated in thinly disguised panic, "we shouldn't be wasting Angel's time he has so much to do and I have a little project I'd like you to work on with me if that's all right with you Angel of course it is it should only take the rest of the afternoon – LETS GO!"  
  
"Excuse me, but what, exactly, is going on?" Angel asked as Eve grabbed Harmony's hand and began dragging the chatty blonde quickly out of the room.  
  
"Oh, just something between girls, boss," Harmony threw over her shoulder along with a conspiratorial wink that bewildered him. Angel shook off his questions and relaxed in his big leather chair, sipping otter. Whatever Harmony was doing, or thought she was doing, if it got Eve off his neck a few extra minutes a day, more power to her.  
  
Fini 


End file.
